he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
