There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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