i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
