he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
