i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
