I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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