Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
