i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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