I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
