Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
How's work?
Spinning.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
