does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
