Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
