My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
