Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
