So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
