Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
