i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
