No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
