well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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