Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he was CRYING into my vagina
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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