I'm so fucking centered right now
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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