Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
