I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
