if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
