The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
