Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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