I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
