need another drink. this is the easiest way
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
