No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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