I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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