And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
