I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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