I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
