**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
