wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
