so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
