She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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