But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I skipped work to stalk him.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
