Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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