the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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