So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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