At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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