Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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