You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
