So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
