We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
