Best friends brother. Beat that.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
