Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
