Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
