apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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