Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it was like eating out sand paper
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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