Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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