whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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