Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
