i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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