marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
